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Schumer's Many Unhappy Returns

by on December 15, 2010

Chuckwatch never runs out of material. Senator Schumer annoys us by wantonly abusing federal power frequently enough to keep political bloggers away from the books they want to read or Sabres games they wish to watch.

His frightening and irritatingly trifling constant overreaching has created a perpetual source of WordPress fuel. It’s the closest he’s ever come to contributing to industry.

What invaluable enterprise is he bitching about this week? It’s those computer-based invisible sellers about which you may have heard. More precisely, Chuck Nasty is angry that some internet merchants charge return fees that they state they charge:

Beware of hidden fees if you plan on returning any Christmas gifts this year.

That’s the warning from Senator Charles Schumer.

Returning items may cost you up to 25 percent of the purchase price for a re-stocking fee.

Senator Schumer is now asking the Federal Trade Commission to put an end to the fees.

Schumer said, “Re-stocking fees are nothing more than a gratuitous attempts to make a buck off a product that has been returned by a consumer who decides that they really don’t like it.”

What is it with retailers trying to make money? The punishment for not really liking what we buy is up to us to sort out. But New York’s senior lunchroom monitor won’t allow his charges to trade their meal items. There is nothing acceptable to him about voluntary transactions.

Leave us and our gleeful spending sprees alone. People have the right to risk making a purchase whatever the set-upon conditions may be. People also have the right to be too dumb to read said conditions and suffer the resulting consequences.

It’s their money to blow, unless you see income primarily as a means for funding federal spending like certain Charles Schumers do.

Only the most officious of leftists could think that saving us from fees though regulated coercion is inherently good for us. The government’s confiscation of our power to negotiate terms of sales is lightweight economic tyranny.

The proposed dictum in question would be annoying itself as well as serving as a broader example of a junked-up bureaucracy that needs an intervention.

And the asspain of a rule would cost us, anyway. Set aside that sellers have the right to try to make a few bucks and discourage returns if they wish.

More importantly, it may in fact actually cost retailers money to restock returns. They’ll in turn pass that expense along to all consumers if they can’t charge only those sending back products. But don’t worry, as nobody has any money anyway. Our leaders planned it this way all along; it doesn’t make sense otherwise.

No consumers will end up happy if the FTC acts in a Schumerian way, as we’ll just be unnecessarily limited for the privilege of paying higher prices. It’s wretched but fitting that he’s not even bothering to suggest laws now: he’ll just bypass the hassle of introducing a bill and instead outsource the interdiction upon commerce to a horde of unelected twerps.

Schumer just can’t accept people doing stuff or making money without his benevolent guiding hand. After all, he recently tried to hike taxes on millionaires in his version of compromise.

His proposed currency seizure was an attempt to punish the same people who provide society with marvels such as, oh, internet shopping sites. If Schumer can’t grab their money by law, he’s going to keep them from accepting money by consent.

At least he’s honest about being slimy. Schumer isn’t known for pretending to be a nonpartisan like the state’s new liberal Democratic Senator-for-Life and New York City’s liberal independent tycoon tyrant Mayor.

But he still pretends he’s working in our interest. The scariest thing about Schumer is that he might believe he’s actually helping. It’s too bad we can’t return him, the amount of his restocking fee be damned.

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