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Frackadelic

by on September 2, 2013

Fracking only seems miraculous. But it’s no more an inexplicable instance of material joyousness than Rearden Steel was in that semi-fictional Ayn Rand novel. Clever drilling is not a divine occurrence but rather a gift to society developed by crafty humans who figured an ingenious way to obtain the energy underfoot. Pressurized specialists juice our lives with a bit of drilling, and they’re naturally condemned for it by people who assume the refrigerator light will always turn on.

It’s no coincidence that magic outlet believers think they’ll win by fighting for wasted potential. There’s nothing kinetic about their unprincipled opposition, as they’re heading forward by hitting the brakes.

Those who don’t get why we need to take all these risks to get rewards continually refuse to accept any disruption to Mother Gaia’s serenity, as we’ll finally be respecting the planet when we decide to go nowhere. Next, digging a hole in which to live will be deemed disrespectful to the planet. Just sleep on top. Lightly.

You didn’t want to work all day, did you? Even if you inexplicably sought toil, there’s no hope provided by people who think the best way to score touchdowns is to start by having six points. Backward liberals have still not learned despite brutally frequent examples that jobs aren’t created by the government: they’re the effect of human interaction and output.

Employment is created as a result of having something worthwhile to do. We don’t just enjoy the fruits provided by the energy acquisition jobs themselves, although those are nice. More importantly, they literally fuel everything else accomplished in civilization.

It should be tough to live with oneself after whining about buying oil from the Middle East while standing against maximizing our keg-tapping, but that doesn’t stop our sanctimonious resource theorists. But there’s sure to be tension relief once Assad asks for our help in drafting a Constitution.

And of course we can’t import relatively clean oil from our honorably clean hoser buddies in Canada, so they will instead just ship it across an ocean to the utterly upstanding Chinese. A third tube to run alongside the maple syrup and Labatt ones would stimulate both America and its attic, but why would we seek to turn neighbors into friends?

Next, electricity fairies will insist we can only search for electricity generated on America’s skin. Wait for windmills to spin or clouds to dissipate, and learn to appreciate the quiet darkness until then.

The kooky theory is settled. Purportedly pro-science liberals shriek about costs like flammable tap water and fracking-caused earthquakes, which are nasty crackpot theories along the lines of thinking jet fuel can’t melt steel. We can’t refer to the conspirers as frackers because that term is reserved for actual useful people recovering natural resources.

Some would rather burn a winning lottery ticket for warmth. Take New York State, which is particularly dedicated to discarding luck. Governor Andrew Cuomo has taken time from restricting gun rights, redefining marriage, and making abortions easier to obtain than cold pills to not let people access the gold mine equivalent underfoot.

It’s not like the de facto former Empire State needs jobs or anything, as Upstate New York is at least three or four years from looking like it was annexed by Detroit. Real jobs which actually trickle down instead of subtracting from the economy are too reminiscent of evil flowing oil.

Pristine land fetishists refuse to see how the superb benefits outweigh the disruption. The unwillingness to accept Thomas Sowell’s sobering yet overwhelmingly wise advice that there are only tradeoffs and not solutions leads to shirking anything that requires weighing choices.

Fantasyland residents only see the risks because they assume there’s a magical pathway cloaked by corporations that would permit euphoria without consequences. To them, there’s nothing worth doing if the activity in question presents even manageable challenges. What could keep the light switch from working?

Why can’t we just have joyous results without any of that messy acquisition? Regulations that function as punishment for error and not an inhibition on efficiency aren’t stringent enough for those who expect the breeze to keep their cushy lives fully juiced. Neo-retro-Luddites presumably want more outages so they don’t look like full-time hypocrites for reaping society’s benefits while moaning about them.

It should go without saying, but we must apparently announce the need to bring the power source to the surface if we want things like modernity. All this amazing drilling prompts progressives to tweet condemnations of excessive power usage from fully-charged iPads.

The ability to retrieve everything that enables our amazing life is right there. Or maybe we could keep hoping the world’s sand trap turns serene enough to keep buying liquid tinder from particularly zealous psychopaths. Refusing to make use of the fuel at hand is exactly what bullying oil sultans want.

Cross-posted at http://conservativecommune.com.

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